An Intruder in the Queen's Chamber
by Cielito
Summary: Within the ship is her Queen's chambers, where she finds solace and unity, where she sometimes wonders, even questions if this is truly whom she is meant to be. John and Teyla, written from Teyla's POV.


For: **meekosan**

Title: An Intruder in the Queen's Chamber (final gift for the secret elf exchange)

Author: Your Friendly Neighborhood Elf me! :)

Words: 6,579

Rating: R for suggested sexual content

Comments:

I've done bits and pieces of this fic in the past, but this is really the entire story. It has morphed and taken a slightly different form than from what I had previously intended. There are bits and pieces that I'm not too thrilled about, but overall, I am happy with the result. I've always been fascinated with Teyla's Wraith genes and I love all stories that explore this side of her and how it would unfold. The title was really the inspiration. I read an article about Queen Elizabeth and how she once had an intruder in her chambers...and VOILA!

It has not been beta and it really should be, but I simply haven't had the time to do so. So, all errors are sadly mine and mine alone. Written for Beya's Secret Elf Exchange 2012. Enjoy!

An Intruder in the Queen's Chambers

Her name is Regina. Her kind was born of an accident, rejected and marked for termination.

Regina.

Daughter of the Primary. Descendant of the most high and esteemed Queen, the mother of all of her kind. The Wraith. The ruler and supreme being.

Regina.

Product of a selfish act of power, hate and vengeance, Regina's abilities were unlike any ever existed. Her body was beautiful and her form was perfection. She could hide beneath the ones called humans, unknown and untouched by her kind's form. It was her gift, one of her many weapons in defeating, luring and disguising herself among the weak, her kinds' ultimate need of survival.

Humans.

Their weakness was their emotions and she felt none for any of them.

She had heard of something called love once. In many of her repressed dreams she thought she had experience such a feeling for one or perhaps two or so. No more do they plague her mind, her thoughts, nor her dreams.

Her home is a Hive ship. A ship that beckons her every whim, an extension of her being, one that craves her spirit. It's strange because when she's off-world she never quite misses it. In fact, at times she feels alienated within its suffocating walls. Yet, this is her home. Her sanctuary. The only place she feels comfort, alone and one with her true self.

Within the ship is her Queen's chambers, where she finds solace and unity, where she sometimes wonders, even questions if this is truly whom she is meant to be.

Regally, she walks through the door. The scent of herbs and spices are welcoming. The same ones that her first elder so despises. The gray, black and white unblemished marble floors perfectly match the large white desk with a familiar rugged book on top. A crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling and in the far corner lies a plain wooden bed covered in fine cloths.

For as long as she can remember, this is her home. Her kingdom and her reign.

Outside her chambers, the sound of her guard is absent. It is not uncommon to find a single male guarding her room's entrance. Unlike her primary who accompanied her everywhere, she was still unaccustomed to being watched constantly as if she were ever to run or leave her one and only safe place. Yet, after the gruesome and ruthless culling of the night, she wanted no one nearby and so she had ordered her guardian to rest, as she finds solace in the quietness of her room.

A Queen's chambers is private, her personal haven in the midst of the storm. In times of great battles and days of culling, she finds refuge only within herself. And then of course, there are times when she dazes in and out of her own mind, when she is preoccupied about something. And tonight, it was certainly one of those times and only in her chambers would she be able to meditate, leaving all those memories behind.

It had been her prime who had taught her how to shun the shadows lurking in the back of her mind. When it was too powerful and the emptiness too great, she would lock herself in her chambers and there she would call upon the hunger, the hate and the betrayal feeding within her soul. For only during her meditations did she will her purpose; To rule her kind.

She was Queen.

And she was not alone. Beside her stood the most powerful of all her males' kind, her prime.

Kenmore.

Instantly, his form shaped into her mind. He had saved her from bondage. Rescued her from those wretched beings who claimed her as one of them. How wrong they were. She was bred to fight, to seek power, to call on a hunger still alien to her form. Of a beginning, thought once lost within her mother's estranged past. Now, she knew the truth, the real reason of her calling and it was to be her people's greatest achievements.

Ultimately, to destroy any whom the creators favor was the real purpose. To think that once she felt pity for them, but those days were long abandoned. Now, she abhorred, despised and fully rejected them for she was the key to it all. A new transformation to her kind, one that promised victory. Then, and only then, will all her darkened dreams and memories of hatred, of pain, of an unforgivable loss would come to an end. Where her reasoning will no longer go and her heart would never betray her again as it did today in Cronos.

As powerful and unstoppable as she was, she still harbored some of her old reserved ways. It was for this reason that her prime Kenmore had not allowed her to further attend anywhere without any other that was not of her own kin. She fought against the idea at first, but after almost being caught, she would remain in the Hive Ship whenever they encounter any humans along their travels or during cullings.

Cullings were the worst times for her. Feeding upon humans was not in her nature. It was nauseating for her to see her kind reduce to the simplest form of feeding. Soon, this too would end and their kind would no longer need to feed so savagely. With her unique genetic makeup and Kenmore's findings, they would soon rid all the others of this abomination, no longer dependent for their survival. It was this which cause the battles between others of her kin. Leaving countless slaughtered and abandoned, many found their death at her guardians' wrath or her punctured grasp, while others accepted her as their new Queen willing to follow her lead to a new era among her people without the pettiness or use of any humans for prey.

But that time was still to come. Negotiating with humans and others of her kind was a temporary solution.

Yet, on this last encounter in Cronos, Kenmore was not present. He had been called by a unknown source. It infuriated her when he kept things from her, but somehow these news were of great significance. Since he was the only one that could block her out of his mind, she was resolved to let him go without any explanations. But when the opportunity of a new planet full of great technological advancement for her ship came into full view, Regina set out to meet the council of Cronos without her prime at her side.

Afterall, she was Queen. A Queen can do no wrong.

They had promised her everything and had offered her a solution. It was all going according to plan. There was no need for feeding and the Cronians cooperated with her demands. Soon, she would find the ultimate source of her and her people's freedom with the collaboration from the Cronians and one in particular, who claimed to have the means to help her kind to no longer feed.

Just as the meeting adjourned, a man stormed into the room, weapons in hands and a full army barely keeping up with him. It was then she realized how grateful she was that her primary was not present. For this same man had sought her out before, the one that so often had almost had her within his grasp, the one that Kenmore warned her about, the one he despised the most.

The first time he came to her, she had only seen a glimpse of him, for Kenmore had been expecting him. The second time, he had almost succeeded in capturing her. She can remember it clearly; his agonizing, angry, yet almost pleading eyes upon her had shaken her to the core. It had taken her many travels before she set foot on another planet again. Yet, every time her prime was there able to whisk her away, unharmed and untouched by this familiarized human.

For he was familiar to her. He appeared in her dreams, haunting her of a hidden dark past. A past that Kenmore warned her of, one that caused her great pain and sorrow. A time of betrayal, deceit and bloodshed.

Kenmore only spoke of this once, and he forbid her to ever mention it to him again. It could cost her her life, or even worse, her sanity, Kenmore had said.

And so she never asked, but she did wonder. And on many lonely nights, she would think and dream of places and people, betraying her mind, body and soul. For it was forbidden for a Queen to harbor such feelings, such emotions, and such characteristics.

Yet, this man had the power to bring those all back to life for her. And it angered her greatly, tormented her consistently. Yet, it was the one thing in her life that she could not control nor find it easy to let go.

And there he was again.

This time, he stood before her, his weapons powerful and alien to her, but it was his presence that incapacitated her.

She was no mystery. He knew of her origin, was fully aware of what she was and what her kind would do to him. She had seen him fight, his strength was impressive and admirable. Yet, that wasn't the reason why she felt an instant kinship for him.

His gaze always paralyzed her for he was different, persistent and dangerous. Seeking her out without fear, control or resistance.

Something within her warned her to listen to Kenmore and to stay away, but at the same time the lure of his presence was enticing, and almost unbending.

The Cronians were ready for this, though. Swiftly, they captured her in a blanket of protection, sending a blast around the room, knocking the rest stagnant to the floor.

"TEYLA" she heard him cry, and for a second, his anguished eyes met hers, and that's when her heart betrayed her. For her eyes met the one that would not abandoned his quest for her, and her form trembled before his sight. And right before she vanished into nothingness, all she was aware of was this powerful pain in her chest that carried a hidden truth with a nameless face.

Hence, there would be little rest for her today. It would be a long one. Without Kenmore to keep her thoughts preoccupied, she found herself alone in her chambers incapable of thinking of anything else but of this man. And so she finds herself restless, pensive, and shaken by the shadows of his presence. Alone, in her Queen's chambers she can let it all go, but most of all, Kenmore must never read it from her mind.

For his wrath would be swift, and his vengeance would be binding. Her trusted consort would never understand what she herself cannot explain. Yet one thing suddenly became clear; she knew this man and this man knew her.

Teyla, he had called her.

Yes, this man must be of great significance. Still, only flashes in her mind would form. Nothing concrete, nothing with substance. Most importantly, should she dare venture into that past after what Kenmore has repeatedly confess was a time of torture, betrayal and loss?

Nevertheless, it never ceased to amaze her how this one being could incapacitate her with just a glance. How her body came alive with just the mere thought of him.

A chill ran up and down her spine and for a second, she felt a strong urge to see this man once again. To confront him and to get the answers that she now realize she so craves.

Kenmore would never allow it. He would banish her into the dark caves of their kin where no one and nothing could ever reach her. Where she would be completely shunned from her kind and she would never finish what she's worked for so long.

No, she cannot allow that to happen.

A good bath and she would spend hours meditating. All would appease her wishes, but in her dreams he will return.

An unexpected smile graced her lips and she started to undress. Her cloak caressed down her bare arms, around her waist and slowly to the ends of her legs. Her fitted armor came undone and she almost cried at the loss of its feel. Her slit skirt danced away from her form and for a minute she felt vulnerable and not alone.

It wasn't an unusual feeling. She was well aware of Kenmore's prying eyes upon her. His desire for her was palpable, but she was clear to him that her needs of the flesh were not shared with his. Not now, and not ever. Besides, her own darkness and fears were not ones that she cared to share with anyone or anything. Still, that never stopped him from trying, but Kenmore would not return for quite awhile.

This feeling was different.

Carefully, she took in all her senses, reigning in her own wants so as not to confuse these with the actuality of her empty chamber.

She was alone. There was no question in her mind. She was Queen of an entire Hive, and desired by the one most feared in all the Wraiths, but she was still alone.

She moved to her shower, one of a kind made just for her. Her body followed a familiar rhythm but her mind wandered to a different time and place.

Motionless, she stood naked inside the shower. She didn't know how long she stood there, but suddenly she sense a presence.

Quietly, she exited, wrapping a towel around her chest.

When suddenly, the feel of wet lips met her skin. "Don't be afraid. You know I would never hurt you."

And before she could respond, he grasped her face in his hands and kissed her madly with desire as she twitched between his grasp.

There could have been many things she could have done, but none seem to come to mind. Without a doubt she knew it was him. The man that plagued her thoughts, and her very existence with his mere presence.

He had robbed her of all her powers, and for some inexplicable reason, it was all she desired. Her body was coming alive, and her senses were on fire.

Her long wet hair fell across his chest, and she felt him tremble slightly. With his strong hands, he strode her body towards the wall and she was thankful for his strong grip, for surely she would have dropped to the floor had it not been for his steady hold on her.

His kisses satisfied her beyond belief. For many moons, she'd dreamt of him this way, and now...

For as long as she can remember, he hunted her and her kind, but she never truly feared that he would ever bring her any harm. For just beneath the surface existed this undertone, this hunger that called her to him just as easily as her kind responded to her presence.

With any other living form, she would have crushed the breath out from within him, but this was no ordinary being.

"What do you seek from me?" She whispered in his ear as he pressed his body closer to hers and his lips continued their assault on her neck.

"You," he whispered between his lips, "In Atlantis with me."

There were plenty of reasons for her to stop this madness. Yet, it felt so right.

It was no mystery. This man had done something to her. Intuitively, she wanted to resist, but this was different. Held high by his mighty strength, but with a gentle soul that had so much feeling, it was impossible for her to deny his alluring presence.

For too long she had fought against anything that preceded emotions. In her soul there was only emptiness.

This feeling should never be a part of her. It was against everything that her kind stood for.

In reality, he was her enemy. Her prey. Her ultimate price of victory. Though now within his grasp, she's the prey and he's her hunter, his victory, and nothing gave her more pleasure nor more satisfaction.

But there was more to this carnal desire. More than this insane and unnatural possession. There was an instinctive craving unlike the one taught to her by her kind.

A simple man, a human. But this man, this mere mortal man came with something foreign to her.

And then she called upon her dreams.

Everything within her told her to always seek her dreams, but Kenmore demanded she turn away from them. Yet, in her dreams this man spoke words of everlasting promises, of peace and joy and his pronounced love for her.

Kenmore had taught her to control, ignore and repress something which she thought was long lost. Memories of hatred, of pain, of an unforgivable loss would come and go in her mind. But over the years, her Wraith drones had trained her how to let it all go. Her mind would forget, but her heart would betray her again.

Never in her entire life-span had she ever wanted to run, to hide. Never had she feared anything as she was fearful now. But there was no movement in her now, only her lips moved. "Who are you?"

The question so simple, but so significant.

She felt his fingers gently brush her face, his eyes soft and pure. "You know who I am. You've always known." He lifted her body easily and his eyes bore straight into her dark soul.

For a split second she felt repulsion. Her senses faltered and her mind dimmed. But her soul was lifted beyond her reasoning to a place and time from a long forgotten past. And that would be her downfall, and that of her kind, just like Kenmore predicted if she were ever to succum to it.

She cast her eyes upon his face, willing to recall and understand his words.

"You wish to capture me."

"Yes, but it's more than that."

She felt her naked form beneath the sheets of her bed and her cold damp body trembled under his grasp. She never even felt him move her to her bed.

As if he read her mind, he confessed. "Sorry, I'm pumped with the retrovirus. It was the only way I could get to you. Doc says this new formula will make me stronger than you but without the creepy-crawly side-effects."

His actions spoke something but his words said another. "You should not be here."

He bend down and kissed her lips, down to her neck, and just barely reaching her exposed breast. "Of course I should. Just remember, you really can't hold me responsible for anything else that I do."

Her heart was beating fast, and her senses were too focused on his scent, his caress and his ever handsome face. Yet, she knew this could not happen. Not like this and and certainly not here.

"This can never be." She found her lips admitting while she buried her face in the crook of his neck, the scent of his skin like the sea wafting in her nose.

"I've missed you and I know you've missed me. You just have to remember."

The words were simple and natural enough. Kenmore would neve speak those words, but sometimes she wished he did. Yet, to yield to such emotions would be against her very core. Still, it puzzled her to feel so helpless within his arms, and yet, she feared him not. For one thing she was certain, and that was him. Never in her entire reign, fighting against so many and so much, had she ever felt so real, so alive, so sure and so lost to the point of no reason.

At once, he overwhelmed her. "I remember only," she paused. "You must leave at once."

"I'm not leaving without you."

And his words continue to whisper of a lifetime to convince her otherwise, and he'd go against all odds just to keep her by his side. His eyes bore a pain unlike any she's ever seen, but they also carried a determination and an assurance of his spoken and unspoken words.

Suddenly, she felt his body tighter under his grasp, and he started to remove something within his coat.

Terrified and once again feeling betrayed, she pulled herself away from him and they both fell on the floor, but he was much quicker than her. Which surprised her, but not as much as his overpowering grip on her. Which cannot be because humans were no match for her kind.

"You forgot that I'm not all human, plus you know you can't beat me when I turn into a super bug."

She didn't fully understand his words, but she knew she had to stop him and the urgency caused her to struggle once again within his grasp.

Yet, it was futile.

The sting she felt on her thigh was painful and her cry was menacing, but abandoned.

"Shhhh," She heard him whisper in her ear. "It will all come back to you."

Tears streamed freely down her face, and she could see the frown forming on his face through the blur as he leaned forward to hold and kiss her. Willingly, she would never accept him. Though she felt weakening, her arms pulled him back away from her, her fingers trailing for a small opening within his covered chest.

He took that moment to remove his vest and jacket. With his cold hands he took her fingers with his. His strong legs pinned her underneath him. As he placed her fingers lightly over his dark shirt, she felt his strong heartbeat. Possessively, she flattened her palm over his vital, rhythmic vibrations and instantly she relaxed, but she would not yield.

"Go ahead and try to feed. You aren't one of them, Teyla!"

"Kenmore will find you." She all but whispered as a wave of nausea hit her, but her words had a strong effect on him because she could feel his stance change once again.

"That son of a bitch...I've taken care of it and Michael won't stand a chance against Rodney's new weapon. And that's if Ronon's blade doesn't get to him first!

Her eyes told of her surprise. "Kenmore."

Then a rage spurred on her quickly at the loss of Kenmore, but mostly, because Michael was hers to kill. He may have once been of her kind but that was long ago and she doesn't ever remember it. Even among her kind there's hatred and fighting. She was making sure that those who didn't stand by her side and reign, be destroyed forever. Michael was at the top of her list and this man just took that away from her.

"Michael was mine to kill!" Then she realized that it had been too quiet in her ship. Her guards should have been at her door once they could not sense her. "What have you done to my ship?"

"Your drones are...sleeping and when they wake, they won't be themselves anymore. Kenmore is dead," and she could hear the blood filled satisfaction in his words, "And Michael's plans with you are over." His gazed filled with desire and something so much more dimmed, and it its place came a painful regret. "I promise you won't play Queen ever again," he paused and smiled as his lips brushed against hers. "Except with me."

The nausea continued, but there was something else occurring. A clarity foreign to her.

For the longest time, survival was her only motivation. Instinct became her one and only friend, and the memories of the ones she once loved and vowed to protect soon became but a ripple in the darkened seas, a black hole that would never heal, would never mend.

When he stormed in front of her the first time, she knew then and there that there was more to life than simply fighting. His presence was so powerful the instant she met his gaze that she herself had to step back from her own deep, dark secrets and desires. Yet, if she really thought about it, it was that first impression that caused her to seek another way for her kind to feed. It was as if upon his presence, her real purpose had come to light.

All at once, she had known the truth of things. She was unique and very much unlike her kind. Not only did she not look nor did she feed as they did, but she also craved and desired the flesh much different than that of her own. Sure Queens craved and had many consorts, but it's purpose was to reproduce. She craved for something more than the flesh.

And though she felt a kinship with this man, Kenmore and her kind would never accept him as hers, and his people would never worship her as their Queen. They would kill them both and her plan would be abolish and her purpose null.

Yet, there was more.

Instantly, she knew she was his weakness just as he was hers. Even more so, in her dreams and the few times they had encountered, she realized now, she found her strength within him. And by the longing looks on his face, and his persistence in capturing her, there was no question that she was more to him than just a price and a victory.

She slid her hand along his leg and stroked his inner thigh. All of the sudden, she wanted him. All of him. And the possessiveness inside of her was too powerful to contain. Night after night she had refused all other consorts, but she had never refused him in her dreams. With him it was natural, expected, and a part of her every being. Just as she needed the air to breath, so she needed this man completely, and her vulnerability should certainly frighten her away, but on the contrary, it only drove her further into his arms.

Caught in her own daze, she hadn't realize they were no longer on the floor. To her surprise, he had moved her to her bed.

"It's time you knew the truth," he whispered, breathing on her neck before taking a soft nibble just below her jaw. He leaned his head against her neck and sighed, not letting her speak her mind. "And you're not going to like this."

She smiled underneath his chest, knowing the effect she was having on him. His breathing labored, his heart thundering just beneath his skin. "You are a Lantian!"

And the smile on his face gave her the confirmation. "Yes."

"Are you going to kill me?"

"Even if I knew there was no other way, I couldn't. Which is why," he said in a husky voice.

"You are here by your own accord. You are alone." It surprised her at first, that she would know this, and that he would in fact face her ship on his own, but it all made sense to her. He would never risk the lives of his men. Yet, he risked his all for her.

"Till death do us part," he said, but his eyes spoke of no such demise, instead they were glazed with desire, and he made no attempt to hide it from her.

Never in her entire life had she wanted to please and be pleased by a male consort as she did now. Yet, there were so many questions, so much to think about. And the urgency rose within her again and a new plan form in her head.

"Have we been discovered by your people?"

After all, no matter what would transpire, she was still Queen. She had a duty to her kinship, no matter what he said about Kenmore, about Michael. The others were hers. They were loyal, faithful and would die for her just as she would for them. And although Kenmore would never approve of this man, the others would never questioned nor doubt their Queen. Now, she only had to convince him that he belonged with her.

She wanted him. That's all there is to it. However, chances are she'd lose him forever. But that was her saving grace because forever was part of her being, of her existence. Ultimately, she would share that gift with him, all of her and every part of him, for he was hers just as much as she was his.

And as his Queen, she revelled at the thought.

"No, but there is something you need to know." Leaning forward, her breath stolen from his lips, he whispered in her ear, "You are not Wraith, these are not your people, nor is this your home, and I'm not your enemy."

"And you have proof of this, I presume? Or is your bravado so strong that you will it to do your bidding to any before you?"

Bravado is a powerful tool and Regina revelled at the idea of being the one to open and close the gates of hell. Her mind open to a power, but also to a source.

And so in her desperation to find an alternate source to end the wrath against good and evil, to end the tyranny of the Ancients against her kind, Regina was willing to sacrifice her body and soul to reach her heart's desire.

Peace and harmony among all.

It went against all her teachings, but she was Queen. A Queen could never do nor be wrong!

In her naked form, lying in the softness of her regal quarters, her senses sharp and her scent unclouded, she remembered how her mission with Kenmore was to seek out revenge, to find a weakness on those that harbored her existence.

What started as a treachery and deceit for the ways of the Lantians and those beyond, turned into a deep feeling of emotions never desired, but now unable to dissolve. The origins of her kind were all part of the Ancients' quest to conquer and rule all of the universe to beckon at their feet.

That's what Kenmore taught her. Yet, this wasn't how she always believed. She only hid it very well from him and the others. Still, the proof of the Ancient's twisted works was very evident and not even this man could persuade her to think otherwise.

This man, a man she was born to hunger, crave and thirst, a man born to hunt and kill her and her kind, now had the power to destroy her forever. Yet, his only purpose was to claim her as his. Yet, at what cost?

Desperation too, brought demise.

It was something completely unexpected and pleasantly surprised. Yet it went against all odds, against all beliefs and of many turmoils if the truth were to ever be exposed.

And yet...

He touched her. Regina turned and felt the brush of his fingers over her hips. Her heart skipped a few dozen beats, and then settled down into a rapid-fire beating madly against her expanding breasts.

He brushed his lips over her cheek once more, and murmured, "And you are not Regina." A second puncture made her squirm between his grasp, and he continued. "And I'll do anything for you. I'll do anything to bring you back!"

Her shout was long and fierce when she sprung up and forward from the bed with her body convulsing uncontrollably. Feeling her strength and her soul slipping away, her turned her face toward him and she looked straight into his eyes, those bright hazel green eyes, and her breath quivered.

And in a blink of an eye, it all became crystal clear.

"I am," she squirmed beneath his strong grasps.

Vehemently, he demanded. "Tell me, please just say it!"

With the urge hunger tempered and controlled, she felt his strong hold around her waist. A strange an unequivocal and unexplainable force suddenly possessed her. Yet, it was so natural and one thing was visible in her eyes.

"I am Teyla Emmagan Sheppard."

And with a force that confined and restricted what she thought was her own calling she willingly succumb to it without abandonment.

000000

She felt his fingers slowly slide down her breasts, causing shivers all along her body, but he continued on his exploratory caress until his fingers finally rested upon her abdomen. She felt her legs wrap around him, and her hips touch the softness of the mattress as she slowly rose. Tenderly, she skimmed his back, pressing lightly with her fingernails, marking him as hers for eternity.

A Queen always marked what belonged to her and this man, he belonged to her. There was no question and no doubt anymore .

Though nothing ever came without a price.

He laid her body back down onto her bed, his breathing labored. "I know I'm not thinking with my head right now, and you're not helping."

She watched the lustful haze come over him, the loss in ecstasy staring into her eyes, but he made no sudden movement.

Almost ten lunar cycles ago she was lost to him. Her mind and body shun with darkness and hatred. Yet, the truth is that he had never abandoned her and she never lost hope. He kept her alive and fighting. He never stopped and eventually, he found her.

"Shh," she whispered, slipping her hands down his chest and sliding her hand down his abdomen. When he moaned, she smiled. "Doctor Keller says that I am free of all the sediments and I am in perfect health both in mind and body."

She loved him and she would relinquish herself completely to him once again.

With his eyes closed, he leaned into her and she took him into her mouth. He tensed beneath her with a choked-off breath and for an instant she thought something was wrong. "I only came to see if you need anything before we head off to see Torren in the mainland."

She smiled, but was concern for his new tone. She leaned into him and kissed his lips."Am I not your wife, and are you not my husband? Was ten of your calendar months not enough time away from me that you would deny to lay with me now?" She moaned, moving her hands over his chest and down his back placing her hands onto the crest of his hips. "Speak your mind and be rid of this wall between us, John."

Carefully, he set his hands on one of her thighs, and pressed her body that she could feel his evident arousal. The light pressure almost brought her to climax.

"There's no wall between us. I just..." His sigh was deep and with a heavy burden. "I should have never let you go. I should have never let you convince me."

"John." She rose from the bed and look into those warm eyes. "Things did not go as we planned, but have they ever?" She smiled teasingly, hoping to ease him of this heavy weight. "It was my choice, and in the end, we did more than we had ever dreamed."

"Torren and I almost lost you. That's no dream. You were never supposed to..." He couldn't say the words.

She was never meant to be Queen of an entire Wraith Armada. Never meant to be imprisoned with the minds of the Wraith.

Yet, she knew very well the truth.

It had been her decision. She simply hadn't remember it until now.

"I chose to be their Queen. It was the only way I could get close to Kenmore and make him truly believe that I was one of them. I knew that if I came back to Atlantis, we would have never have the opportunity to rid of the Wraith once and for all. It was our only chance and I took the risk for all of us."

"You made that decision without me and I never asked you to do that for any of us. For crying out loud, Teyla! You forgot Torren, you forgot who you are, you forgot us." His face was so close to her she could feel the heat in his words. "I never wanted you to risk your life."

He stepped away from her and such a simple move pained her greatly. Yet, she knew very well she was the only one with the power to ease his mind. For this was no different than when she reigned over the Wraith.

"The day you found me you said to me that you would do anything to get me back." She saw him turned back to look at her with a frown of confusion on his face.

"And I meant every word."

"I know," she smiled. "Why then is it so difficult for you to understand that I would risk my life for our friends, our family, and for you?"

He shook his head, "Teyla, it's not the same."

She neared him now and her voice was soft but filled with emotion. "It is alright then for you to risk your life daily on our behalf, yet I cannot do the same for you?"

He neared her this time and set his hands on her face. "No, it's not. And I know that may sound selfish and petty, but there it is. I almost lost my mind trying to find you. I broke all the rules and did all the things that a man shouldn't do, but I did and I'd do them all over again just to keep you safe."

This is John Sheppard. This is the man she fell in love with and this is the man she'd willingly die for. But he would never accept the latter, and she's always known it.

For now, there is no point and no reasoning with him. So she must yield to him in other ways because he deserve this and she needed him. "Then," she paused and she wiped something from her eyes, "I suppose I will have to forfeit my kingdom and my reign."

He leaned towards her some more, clearly returning to his old self again. "Not really, you still have me and I'm certainly better than any other in your liege."

She wrapped her hands around his shoulders and set her body down on the bed as his rose over hers. "If I remember correctly, you came to me as _an_ _intruder in the Queen's chambers_, did you not?"

He chuckled at the expression, but she also saw the look of pure raw love in his eyes and she felt a tightening on her chest. For it was clear that his pain and sorrow had been greater than any she had ever felt, and she silently promised to make it up to him for the rest of their lives.

In truth, there were still too many questions to be answered, too many secrets to share, and many painful truths to confess. But it will all come in due time.

For now, it was all about him and her. No more of what was and what could have been. It's all about what is and what will be.

And in the depth of their lovemaking, in the heat and the passion between them, and while she gasped and he buried himself deep inside of her, the truth of her real form and the reason for her sacrifice, would reveal itself in his arms.

~Fin


End file.
